The former flame of Lady Gaga’s new boyfriend is speaking out.
In case you haven’t heard, Mother Monster has a new man now. His name is Michael Polansky, perhaps you’ve seen him already. Until just a few weeks ago, Polansky had been casually referred to as the “hot bearded guy” who locked lips with Gaga on New Year’s and was later caught snuggling up with the pop star in Miami during Super Bowl weekend.
By now, everyone knows the couple is Instagram official, including Polansky’s ex-girlfriend, Lindsay Crouse. Now, the New York Times Opinion senior staff editor made the most of the awkward revelation — via a piece titled, “My Ex-Boyfriend’s New Girlfriend Is Lady Gaga” — by writing all about the shocking discovery.
Crouse had been “eating bodega grapes at my desk” when she learned her ex was dating one of the most famous women in the world. "I dated this normal, mystery man for seven years. Our relationship lasted all of college, and then a few years more. (A popular song from back then described being "caught in a bad romance,’” Crouse recalled, nodding to Gaga’s song “Bad Romance.”
"I don't follow my ex on social media. We were 'friends' on Facebook. Then we were 'in a relationship' on Facebook,” she continued. “After we broke up, I noticed I was 'blocked' on Facebook. And then we moved on. I hadn't googled him in forever (I promise). But this month I knew everything about his new relationship status, within hours of when it was disclosed."
While most might feel pale in comparison to the “Shallow” superstar, Crouse said it motivated her. “Instead of thinking, 'Why not me?' when I see them together, I think 'That was me,’” she wrote. “It pulls the illusion of celebrity down."
The discovery inspired a moment of spontaneity for Crouse, who remembers going into “a nice store I’d never been inside before,” then described the occasion to the clerk: “I found out from Facebook that my ex-boyfriend was dating Lady Gaga, I told her, and she looked me up and down. The dress was too expensive, but I bought it anyway. … if Lady Gaga can do what she wants, and even expand on what she wants, why not me, too?"
Photo: Instagram/Lady Gaga